This month's Inspire Me testimony comes from another beautiful soul that I have known all of my life. We grew up in church together and have grown so much as mothers and individuals of Christ. Dalaiia is such a precious soul. She is full of life and my sis can SANNGGGG. She's probably not going to be too happy about me saying that but she will be okay (Love you!!)
She's so talented and I am so thankful to be apart of her life. Since my move to North Carolina, I have not been directly involved in her life but we have remained in contact and our catch up sessions are the best.
I am so thankful that speaking out about mental and emotional health are topics that are now supported and encouraged. We never know what another person is experiencing or where they are mentally and emotionally. I am learning how important it is to check, love, encourage and support one another wherever we may be in our healing.
Dalaiia, thank you sis for being so willing to be open and vulnerable about your experience. Trust and know that nothing that you have or are experiencing is "just because." There's so much purpose within you. I love you sis.
“This is what happens when you do things out of fear”
Have you ever looked around your environment and thought “I don’t belong here”? Whew, chile! Me too girl!
You would think that after 26 years of life, one would get used to the lows, the blows, and highs life has to offer. In the past year, I have never felt so uncomfortable and uncertain about my life. This year has been rough. Moved to a completely new state, the supervisor turned out to be crazy, had to find new friends and no creative outlet. All my life, I have been so used to being with people, teaching others, having friends over, having Sunday dinners with good people and etc. All that drastically changed when I graduated from Graduate School and became a REAL ADULT. I became angry at myself. Why did I let myself get here? Why do I keep moving further and further away? Why did I desire this career choice?
I immediately fell into depression. I was sad. I was lonely. I was disappointed. I just didn’t understand why I had to be here. And why did I choose to be here? Do you want to know how I got here? This is how.
All my life I have been into the creative and performing arts. The stage is where I thrived! I started dancing and performing at the young age of 5. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always dreamed of being on a stage or screen performing in front of millions of people. After high school, I have considered attending an art school but I choose to go a different route. I choose stability and comfortability. This choice led me to earn my Bachelors degree in Psychology. After months without knowing what I wanted to do with my life. (well I did, it just didn’t seem like a good idea), with the idea of going to pursue my dreams in the back of my mind, I decided to go back to school for something that was comfortable…Education. Because in my head, this will allow me to make decent money, have a masters, and make it seem like I’m doing good for myself. Who wants to be a starving artist? NOT ME! so I thought. So, I ended up earning my M.Ed in Higher Education and working at Elon University right after. A year later, I move to SC where I currently work at The University of South Carolina. Higher education is something I enjoy, however, it’s not where my passion lies.
“This is what happens when you do things out of fear”. You end up depressed, sad, lonely, and unfulfilled.
God opened a door for me to work at Elon University. Now, if you’ve ever been to Elon, you’d understand why I felt so lonely. I had no social life. NONE! I started doing Instagram and YouTube videos because I was bored. Doing this has fueled a new passion of mine (creating content, photography, and videography). This was the only creative outlet I could think of. I now understand why I needed to be by myself.
God needed to isolate me to really show me where HE wants me, to REDIRECT my path, to IGNITE a flame of COURAGE and BOLDNESS to pursue my dreams without any hesitation. I couldn’t do that with people telling me what is best for me. I had to figure that out for myself.
“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
This scripture has reformed what I believe God wants for me in this season. Most of us when we read this verse, we think “Oh yeah girl God said that He will give me what I want. He going to give me a man, a community, a new job, and increase my finances. YESS LAWD!” Though this could be true. I now see this verse through a completely different lens. I believe God wants me to focus on him. My prayer has changed from “God I know you’re a good father and will give me what I desire” to “God give me what to desire”.
My testimony is my journey; not what I’ve been through but what I am currently going through. God is strategically placing you in the right place, even when it’s cold, isolated, and uncomfortable. I am right where God NEEDS me to be.
As I continue this journey of pursuing my dreams, I encourage you to chase yours without any hesitation. You just never know where God will take you and what will come out it. If it seems risky, as a bad idea, and unstable then you’re probably on the right track!