• Chiquta Harris

Inconsistently Consistent

In this week's newsletter, I spoke about consistency. In today's blog, I thought I would also share more context around that post.

When I decided to take a break in December, I spent dedicated time understanding my purpose in Christ as a writer. I understood writing and blogging as more than just something I would do occasionally; it was becoming a form of my ministry. Writing is a communication pathway between Christ and I. Additionally, writing allows me to authentically connect and communicate with others.

In this season, I was able to write all of my newsletters for Q1 2020 (and some). I decided to not prematurely schedule the newsletters but to seek God each week on which newsletter He felt I should release. During this time, God also placed upon my heart the word consistency as my new focal point.

In an expected fashion, I wrote the consistency newsletter about what I felt God was saying to me in this new season. When writing it, I felt that it would be one of my first newsletters of the year. However, each week I would pray and each week it was not the newsletter God permitted for me to share. After some time, I actually thought nothing of it. I just trusted Him in directing me in what to release and when.

When I began at the beginning of the year, it was never my intention to make Audacious Pursuit about me. If this were to ever be the case, then it would lose its purpose as a ministry. Therefore, I knew it was important to keep God at the forefront of it all while being open and willing to pivot when asked by Christ. In order to do this, I knew everything I did must be completely saturated with the Word of God and prayer. I cannot be a proper catalyst for Christ without being intimately connected to Him.

However, somewhere along the way, being consistent made me inconsistent.

While focusing on consistency in showing up for others, I became inconsistent with God. I wasn't consistently showing up with Him at the level to which He was pulling me. Slowly and unintentionally, I become more focused on the deeds of the ministry and not the Messenger. I became more focused on the likes, comments, and feedback from others.

I knew this was the case when I was failing to find the words to say. I became unsure of myself. I became stressed about being consistent. I was tapped out.

Recognizing this feeling from before, I then took more time to regroup. Some may also notice this behavior from previous posts and wonder how I ended up here again. One thing I have become clear about is that whenever we begin to understand our purpose in Christ, we enter a full-fledged war with the enemy. More often than not, the enemy's tactics don't change (John 10:10); just his methods of deception. Sometimes, we can get lost or distracted by doing the right thing. The Word reminds us of this very thing -- "There is a way which seems right to a man and appears straight before him, but its end is the way of death." (Proverbs 14:12 AMP)

On Easter, Jay and I were speaking about our gratitude toward Christ for all that He has done for us individually and as a family. We also discussed our thankfulness for all He is preparing for us in the future. During our conversation, I realized why God gave me the word consistent and why He never allowed me to release that particular newsletter before now.

The consistency God placed on my heart and was expecting from me wasn't necessarily for my blog, Facebook group, and Instagram. He was looking for a new level of consistency directly from me to Him. His desire is for me to be more consistent in and through Him and not particularly by just showing up on social media. We may not realize this, but God doesn’t have a social media account.

He cares nothing about my likes, comments or engagement metrics. God has the capabilities of reaching the intended one through any method He so chooses. Thankfully, He has graciously chosen me as a vehicle for sharing His Word but not at the cost of my own desires.

God cares more about my heart posture than anything else.

If I believe this to be true, then why do I feel the need to be so focused on being consistent online more than being consistent with Him? Is it because I am indirectly more concerned about my rate of engagement?

There is no way I can be consistent in multiple demanding areas and have excellent results in it all. Being more intentional and consistent in areas of importance will yield the greatest return; returns not measured by social media analytics or any Earthly measure. The majesty and power found in being consistent in God afford me space to be consistent in the assigned areas at the right time without sorrow or time lost. Time is indefinite when I completely surrender to the only One capable of redeeming the time.

Many times, we misconstrue God's intentions with our own. We must also remember that God's thoughts and ways are not like ours. We must be intentional to be in alignment with God's will for our lives. If not, we will always be on an endless pursuit of our own desires apart from God's will.

What are the ways you can be more inconsistently consistent?

Write me back with your responses. I would love to hear from you on this topic.

XOXO - Queda

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